new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
