I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
