My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
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