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I'm so fucking centered right now
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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