the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
