So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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