alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize