Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I didn't notice because vodka
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
