so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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