fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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