So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
