I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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