I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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