i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
high people should be assigned attendants
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
try to milk me bitch
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