Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
