Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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