I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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