the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
