why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
