THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
