she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
