Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you never un-have a 4some
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
