Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
