I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
