My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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