This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
