How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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