His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
