I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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