He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
