Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
whose ass print is on the piano?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize