I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
did you just send me my own nude
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
