They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
