well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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