i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
