Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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