last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
