I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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