its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize