I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
