More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize