the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
