YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize