i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
