im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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