Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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