I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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