She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
