just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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