haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize