I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
