Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
