I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sext me about skeletons
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize