she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
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