Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
