i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize