yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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