i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
