I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
