Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize