Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize